“Playgrounds were originally conceived as places to raise future citizens in a social democracy, according to Roy Kozlovsky, an architectural historian, but now they seem geared more toward facilitating easy parental supervision. Well-meaning efforts to reduce the risk of injury have overwhelmed opportunities for self-expression and creativity. The idea of a playground as what Mr. Kozlovsky calls a “pure place” persists, but increasingly, it is also an empty place.” - NYTimes

Be sure to check the slideshow.

This weekend my wife and I decided it would be a great idea to take two toddlers into the wilderness of upstate New York. We weren’t crazy, we brought toddler number two’s wranglers along with us.

Two and a half hours into the three-hour drive, we decided to stock up on camping necessities – diapers, soymilk and beer included. As my wife plunked the heavy case of Heineken onto the check-out conveyer belt, she gave the quirky male clerk the once-over. The city dweller in her thought, “I have nothing in common with you.” And as she counted off the ways he interrupted her thought.

“Lynyrd Skynyrd?” he asked.
“What?” responded my wife surprised that the clerk had directed a question other than, “How’s the weather?” at her.
“Your t-shirt… It’s Lynyrd Skynyrd.”
“Um, No it’s…” said my wife, her conviction in the fact that this man could not possibly identify with her fashion sense slowly losing its certainty as the words left her mouth. After a few awkward moments she realized that she was wearing a tank top designed by our friend for the brand Wearable Music – tees that carry graphic representations of song lyrics.

“Oh,” she continued, perking up, “actually it is!”
“Man I can never find cool rock tees,” said the clerk in a coutry drawl.

And thus the urban mom and the rural boor bonded.

Pre-schoolers have funny ways of revealing their parents’ beliefs through their reactions to particular subjects. The son of jockster parents might contend that the point of sports is not to exercise, it is to win; the daughter of militant environmentalists might argue with her classmates that green is not a color but a way of life; and the son of non-religious parents might, well…

This weekend my wife and I were invited to a wedding. We weren’t sure how formal it would be and so decided we would dress in a similar fashion to the way we dressed for our wedding. Bad idea. We showed up late, underdressed, and with a child who was quiet for the entire hour-and-a-half car ride and was now ready to let his voice be heard over the incanting Catholic priest.

As the priest ran through his ceremonial mass he came to a point, in what to my son must have seemed like a very long run-on sentence, that he bestowed good graces on the bride and groom.

He said: “Blah-blah-blah heavenly, blah-blah, holy, blah-blah-blah, matrimony, and may the Lord bless you.” My son broke the silence of the congregation by booming, “He say ‘Bless you’! Ha-ha-ha! Poppa that funny!”

We endured reprimanding stares for the rest of the wedding mass.

POP’S PICK: It’s Fleet Week, so we’re off to see the “really big ship boats” in Staten Island.

FRIDAY
DaddyDowntime
Take Me To Monkey Town
DON’T FORGET - Mamalu’s MONKEY DANCE PARTY is this Friday, May 25th from 6-8pm!
Come hear the hip sounds of DJ Jordi and boogie with your cool family.

Special Discount for all Brooklyn Babies - Live in Brooklyn? Come and show us your ID with your zip and we’ll give you a monthly pass for $40. Regular priced monthly passes are $50. $85 for two children. Mamalu.us

TONYKids
Afrique, c’est chic
Brooklyn’s annual cultural explosion celebrates a big anniversary this weekend.
From the Caribbean enclaves of Crown Heights to the traditionally African-American neighborhoods of Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn has tons of culture from the African diaspora to show off. Let Memorial Day stand for more than just barbeque and beach chairs this year by celebrating the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s long-running DanceAfrica festival and its 30 years of educating and entertaining.
Wed 23 – Sun 27. BAM Howard Gilman Opera House, 30 Lafayette Ave between Ashland Pl and St. Felix St, Fort Greene, Brooklyn (718-636-4100, bam.org). Subway: B, Q, 2, 3, 4, 5 to Atlantic Ave; D, M, N, R to Pacific St. Ticket prices vary, visit bam.org for details.

SATURDAY
DaddyDowntime
Big Ship Sailing On The Ocean
Fleet week is here and if your kid is into boats and ships, then this is his time of year!!!
Time: 8 am – 5 pm. Event: Public visitation of ship. Location: Ships will dock in Manhattan (Pier 90, 50th & Westside Hwy) or Staten Island’s Stapleton Pier
**Note: Lines may cap as early as 3pm to ensure all visitors have toured the ships before 5pm when the ships close.**

TONYKids
Arty pants
The Lower East Side turns it out for tots.
Kids looking for their art fix this weekend need not brave the crowds of Memorial Day parades. Head downtown instead, where Theater for the New City hosts its annual, three-day LES Festival of the Arts.
Sat at 2pm. Theater for the New City, 155 First Ave between 9th and 10th Sts (212-254-1109, theaterforthenewcity.net). Subway: L to First Avenue. Free.

UrbanBaby
Mythic Creatures
Head to AMNH for the opening day of the first-ever exhibition that traces the roots of mythological creatures from Asia, Europe and the Americas. Explore dragons, unicorns and mermaids, and everything from shadow puppets to ceremonial masks and helmets.
When: Opens Sat., 5/26; $21/Adults, $12/Children.
Where: Central Park West at 79th St., 212-769-5200, amnh.org.

TONYKids
Do The Twist
Michael Hearst presents Songs For Ice Cream Trucks at a local bookstore.
Whether partial to chocolate, vanilla or butterscotch, listeners will get a kick out of Michael Hearst’s new CD Songs For Ice Cream Trucks.
On Saturday, May 26, Hearst will host the CD release party for Trucks at SoHo’s Housing Works Used Book Café. He will also play a casual meet-and-greet concert for his frozen-dessert loving fans.

UrbanBaby
Clifford’s Memorial Day
Kids can spend the holiday with the Big Red Dog at the Scholastic Store. Make a patriotic pinwheel and snap pictures with Clifford to take home.
When: Sat., 5/26, 3pm; All ages; Free.
Where: 557 Broadway (bet. Prince & Spring St.), 212-343-6166

SUNDAY
UrbanBaby
MiniMorphosis
Museum of Arts & Design hosts a family workshop that looks at netsuke art, tiny sculptures from a centuries-old Japanese tradition. Using light and shadow, kids can create small sculptures that tell a story.
When: Sun., 5/27, 2-4pm; $7 per family; Ages 4+.
Where: 40 West 53rd St., 212-956-3535, madmuseum.org

I’ve been on a breakfast kick with my son. I’ve been trying really hard to ensure that he has a good breakfast every morning. But what do you do when you’re out of eggs, cheese, bread and your kid wont stand within 50 feet of a bowl of cereal? Well, you throw stuff together and hope it sticks.

This morning was one of those mornings and faced with the choices of potatoes, granola, tofu, lemons, tempeh, ½ jar of vodka sauce, raisins, untouched mole sauce, and a few spoonfuls of pear sauce, I decided, “I can do this!!!”

Poppa’s Tofu & Pear Panfry:
Ingredients
¼ block of tofu
1 butter-knife wipe of butter
½ fist-full of raisins
3 plops of pear sauce

Preparation
Add butter wipe to heated saucepan. Dice tofu into ½ inch cubes. Add tofu to saucepan and brown slightly. Add raisins to tofu. Let cook for as long as it takes Elmo to sing that annoying ‘La-la-la-la’ song. Add pear sauce to pan. Stir a few times. Let cool, place on dinning table, watch kid devour it.

Notes
Butter-knife wipe can be substituted with margarine wipe or splash of olive oil. Raisins can be replaced with any dried fruit you find hanging out in the cupboards. Pear sauce can be substituted with anything runny and sweet (apple sauce, honey, chocolate syrup: all used sparingly, you don’t want your kid showing up to pre-school wired… or maybe you do.)

“Even if mom did occasionally overmedicate, undermine, or adopt the decorous phone manner of Alec Baldwin, it was probably out of love. More importantly, it could have been much worse. Below, some mommies who really didn’t know best.” - RADAR magazine

“All those people who think it’s impossible to praise one’s kids too much may need a little dose of reality. But essayist and father Peter Sagal says it won’t start with him — or his daughter’s tee-ball team. Sagal is the host of NPR’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me! He lives in Chicago.” - NPR.org

We used to have such a problem with our son’s teeth freezing over during the winter, sticking to insides of his lips and rendering him speechless for hours until he thawed out indoors… That was before we started buying Mr. Cool toothpaste imported from China!

“Authorities in the Dominican Republic said they seized 36,000 tubes of toothpaste suspected of containing diethylene glycol, an industrial solvent and prime ingredient in some antifreeze.” - NYTimes

Walking back from Mc Carren Park yesterday my son saw a harrumphing hipster and declared, “He’s the angry guy,” pointing to the chap from high on my shoulders. My wife and I both thought it was interesting that he would pick out this fellow amid the throng of young dissidents headed north up Bedford Avenue from the L Train station on North 7th. He wore a gabardine blazer, holey t-shirt, vintage slacks and hat, and was carrying a hard guitar case.

“Why’s he the angry guy?’ asked my wife and I in the singular way most parents find themselves doing. “Because he can’t play the guitar anymore,” declared our toddler. This shortened the rest of our walk as we laughed all the way home.

From the home page of the Toys R Us website: WWE Ruthless Aggression. I thought of my neighbor who instructed his son to “wrestle softly” with mine as I looked at these action figures.

Getting into your child’s head is like entering a carnival funhouse. You prepare yourself by detailing what to expect, but there’s always something that gets you. Recently I’ve been trying new disciplinary methods. I’ve found that if I use a normal speaking voice but and be relentless with the lesson at hand until he says, “Okay”, I can usually get the desired behavior without either of us having a total meltdown.

The problem with this method is that it puts my 2½ year-old on the same level of the discussion as I am, inflating his decision-making power to that of a teenager. I serve up this recent exchange as an example:

We’re on our way to his pre-school. Along the way I purchase a bag of chips for him to have with lunch. He decides of course, that he wants the chips NOW!

Me (in a normal speaking voice): The chips are for later with lunch.
Him (faux-bawling): I waaaaant theeeeem nooooow!!!
Me (getting upset at his faux-bawling but still using a normal speaking voice): You can’t have the chips now. Chips are for lunch not breakfast. Would you like a banana?
Him (faux-bawling): I waaaaant chipieeeees!!!
Me (now upset at his faux-bawling but keeping my normal speaking voice): Listen, if you don’t stop I will have to take the chips back to the store.
Him (faux-bawling has suddenly stopped): Take it back to da store?
Me (happy that I have cut through the faux-bawling): Yes, I’ll have to take it back to the store.
Him: No.
Me: Well if we keep it you can only have it for lunch. Okay?
Him: …
Me: Okay?
Him: Erklfmpt…
Me: Okay?
Him (sounding 10 years older): I said ‘Okay’ al-rea-dy!

Which leaves me to wonder what to expect when he is actually 10 years older.