Yesterday my son demonstrated that he has grasped a fundamental part of growing up, the courage to simply say, “I don’t kow.”

Prior to this, no matter the question, you could see the cogs working in his little brain, trying to formulate an answer in order to be praised.

“What’s two plus two?”
“Um, um, um, banana?”

“What’s the square root of 144?”
“Um, um, um, Chooperman?”

“Explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity.”
“Um, um, um, my Chooperman eat banana?”

But that’s all done with. Yesterday I asked him what he had seen on our Sunday trip to P.S.1 MoMA (where he pilfered an orange from a gallery that displayed the fruit as art - we later learned that the oranges were ours fo the taking) and he responded simply, ‘I don’t know.”

It was a great moment, and possibly the only time I’ll celebrate his not knowing. I suspect that this response will soon bite me in the ass when I asked questions such as, “Who made a mess? How do big boys behave?” or “Why did you just dump the roll of toilet paper into the fish tank?”

“War Child is the “coolest” charity in Holland, according to the National CoolCharity-poll. Critical succesfactors that contributed were communicating about successes and using original and innovative communication campaigns.” - WarChild

“LONDON - Authorities are considering taking an 8-year-old boy who weighs 218 pounds into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet, officials said Monday. Social service officials will meet with family members Tuesday to discuss the health of Connor McCreaddie, who weighs more than three times the average for his age.” - Y! News

“Even selfish bedfellows will make room for PillowPillowPillow animal-shaped pillows, the new pet project of NYC designer Aaron Stewart. The Parsons grad based Scooter the dachshund on his own four-legged friend and was inspired by Japanese toys and cartoons to create Zilla the pug, Blue the Weimaraner, and Cha Cha the Chihuahua.” - DailyCandy

A few nights ago my wife and I were awaken by a strange noise. We had become used to the sounds of loud music from the sleek cars with big rims that stopped at the light at our intersection. It also took more than the gaggle of drunken hipsters the lived communally next door doing God knows what to stir us from our sleep. This noise was different and it seemed to be coming from inside our apartment.

“I make a mess! Poppa, I make a mess!”

It was three-fifteen in the morning, so the declaration came to me in waves that first lapped at my sleepy shores and then gradually increased in intensity, eventually crashing into my consciousness.

I sprang out of bed and headed toward the light of the bathroom. There I found our toddler son standing over a variety of beauty products spilled on the floor. He was covered in gold pixie dust.

“Look Poppa,” he said with eyes way too bright for that hour. “I make a mess.”

Still partially asleep I lead him to the bedroom where my wife took over. I cleaned up the mess and by the time I returned they were both asleep – him in his bed, her in ours.

It was a strange occurrence, and the fact that he chose the bathroom, a place he never hangs out, confounded the matter.

The next morning my wife and I considered it a case of sleepwalking, even though he seemed pretty awake when I found him. We later dismissed it.

Then last night we were again awaken at two-something in the morning by our son standing at his bookshelf, playing with his books in total darkness. Again when he was lead back to bed he instantly fell into a sound sleep.

I have absolutely no experience with sleepwalking, so I asked around:

“Remember if he wakes up he is not going to stay in his bed… I do not think it is something for you to worry about ,especially now that he can get in an out of his bed easily. I suggest you watch it and see if it is linked to the kind of day he had, or too much activity making him restless.” - Grandma Williams

“Before tucking him in for the night, be sure to pick up any toys or other objects that he could fall over during a middle-of-the-night walkabout, and put a stairgate at the top of the stairs.” - Delicios via Y! Answers

“Most children grow out of sleepwalking. I did and my children have as well. There really nothing to “combat” about this, unless they are still doing past the age of eight or nine. Then seek some help.” - scp98k via Y! Answers

“I have heard of kids leaving the house, so make sure that your doors are locked. If he knows how to unlock them when he’s awake or open them, get a latch near the top of the door and make sure it’s locked before you go to bed to make sure that your son is safe.” -malwilhist via Y! Answers

POP’S PICK: We have two friends exhibiting very different work at this weekend’s Comic Con. First there’s Moto, an artist we’ve known since his early days of v-jing. He’ll be debuting his new collectible toys Chaz and Daz at the event. Manny, a sound artist and graphic designer, will be hawking t-shirts and limited edition CDs. See you there.

FRIDAY
UrbanBaby
Operation Safe Child
Get children photographed, measured and fingerprinted as part of the New York City Police Museum’s national initiative. Parents will receive a free ID card, and the child’s info is stored in a national law enforcement directory in event of an emergency.
When: Through Fri., 2/23, 11am-2pm; All ages.
Where: 100 Old Slip (bet. Water & South St.), 212-480-3100, nycpolicemuseum.org.

SATURDAY
DaddyDowntime
Comic Con
“This is something Android8 and I have been working on since last summer and we are proud to finally introduce my very first toys! They will be available at the Android8’s booth at Comicon New York from Feb.23-25 2007. After the Comicon event you can buy them online at Android8.com. For further information please contact Android8.com or email me. ” - Moto
2007 Show hours: friday, feb 23: 10AM - 4PM (Trade only) 4pm - 9pm (Public hours); saturday, Feb 24: 10am - 8pm; sunday feb 25: 10am - 5pm at the Jacob Javits Center.

TONYKids
Midwinter night
Come see a pint-sized classic for kids: As Shakespearean fare goes, there are few shows that parents often think of as appropriate for kids under the age ten. Fortunately, the Classic Stage Company doesn’t agree.
Sat 24 at 10am; Sun 25 at 11am, 7pm; Mon 26 at 8pm. Classic Stage Company, 136 E 13th St between Third and Fourth Aves (212-352-3103, classicstage.org). Subway: L to Third Ave. $25, students $15, under 12 free.

UrbanBaby
Gateway to India
As part of ABC Carpet & Home’s month-long series, storyteller and author Laura Simms performs A Feast of Mythical Tales for Children, special stories about deities in the store that will surely connect with kids.
When: Sat. 2/24, 11am; All ages; Free.
Where: 888 Broadway (at 19th St.), 212-473-3000, abchome.com

FlavorPill
The Armory Show
when: Fri 2.23 - Mon 2.26 (Fri-Sun: 12-8pm / Mon: 12-5pm)
where: Pier 94 (12th Ave & W 55th St, 212.246.5450) map
price: $20
The Armory, largest of New York’s contemporary art fairs, adds emerging artist spaces this year to the usual brigade of booths by established galleries like Roebling Hall and Pace Wildenstein.
http://www.thearmoryshow.com/

WillyBees
Portrait Studio
Saturday, February 24th, 10am–12noon
Photo sessions are by appointment (some walk-ins may be available). More hours available if necessary, please call 718-349-7191 to schedule!
Introductory Special: $49 for one sitting includes $10 gift coupon towards prints. A sitting includes at least 15 shots and 15 minutes. You can bring props.
www.willybees.com

UrbanBaby
Brooklyn Kids Rock
BAM’s mini-festival welcomes fave kiddie musician AudraRox and funky folk band Astrograss along with Toxic Muffin, a band of 8 to 10-year-olds playing original music.
When: Sat., 2/24, 12 & 3pm; Ages 2+; $10 (order tickets in advance).
Where: 30 Lafayette Ave., Brooklyn, 718-636-4130, bam.org.

FlavorPill
Williamsburg Galleries After Hours
when: Sat 2.24 (6-11pm)
where: Various Williamsburg galleries
price: FREE
Amidst all the hullabaloo surrounding Manhattan’s art fairs, Williamsburg’s galleries stay open until 11pm for an evening of dressed-down entertainment.
http://www.williamsburggalleryassociation.com/afterhoursinfo.html

SUNDAY
TONY Kids
Boogie on the bowery
Get your kid’s toes tapping at this rockin’ show: Is your child sick of sitting still through a theatre performance? If so, bring her to the Bowery Poetry Club this Sunday when the East Village spot’s kids program, Bowery Kids, presents Rhymes and Rhythms.
Sun 25 at noon. The Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery between Bleecker and Houston Sts (212-614-0505, bowerypoetry.com). Subway: D, F to Broadway–Lafayette St; 6 to Bleecker St. $8.

FlavorPill
Sacred Rhythm feat. Fertile Ground w/ Joe Claussell
Sun 2.25 (6pm) Love (179 MacDougal St, 212.477.5683) map $15 / $12 before 8pm
The worldly, organic house music at Love’s Sacred Rhythm parties may seem refined on paper, but — coupled with the lush, live Afro-jazz of Baltimore’s Fertile Ground outfit — Joe Claussell’s dance-floor mix of techno beats, Latin rhythms, and rock guitars makes tonight’s party anything but staid. (IB)
http://www.musicislove.net/feb25.html

WillyBees
Opus Ditty and The Joyride Jet Engine Express
Willy Bee’s Music-and-Brunch series
Sunday, February 25th, 11am-1pm
Opus and his friends, the Hoedown Gang, have begun an exciting musical odyssey and everyone’s invited!
They will knock your socks off with a hip, neo-traditional approach to children’s music with a blend of pop, rock, country, and storytelling that takes the whole family on an uplifting musical adventure. There’ no tellin’ where Opus, the Hoedown Gang, and the Joyride Jet Engine Bus will travel next. So get on board, “Be yourself, play your part, and sing along!” Visit the whole gang at www.opusditty.com

“LOS ANGELES - An appearance in family court sought by Kevin Federline amid a child custody dispute with Britney Spears was canceled Thursday as reports surfaced that the pop star was back in rehab.

Spears returned to the Promises Malibu Treatment Center late Wednesday, according to reports from TMZ.com, “The Insider” and “Extra.” Her mother, Lynne Spears, drove her daughter to the center, “Extra” and “The Insider” said.” - Y! News

Hey you! With the apple sauce in your mouth. Spit it out… Now!

“Our Company is committed to providing you and your families with the highest quality “good for you” foods. As part of that commitment, we have decided to initiate a precautionary recall of our Earth’s Best Organic Apple Peach Barley Wholesome Breakfast with a lot code of PF6J14 NP and an expiration date of 14 SEP 08 A stamped on the top of the lid of the 4.5 ounce jar. These items are sold individually, as well as within a Wholesome Breakfast Variety Pack.

Routine quality testing indicated that a small portion of this lot was not at the correct pH level. In some cases the lid is popped and the product is discolored. We ask that you not use the product even if it does not look or smell spoiled. Please be assured that this issue is an isolated occurrence that our high quality control standards detected, so we could respond appropriately. All other Earth’s Best products and other lot codes of this product are not affected. ” - Earth’s Best

We took Devon bowling once at Chelsea Piers. He was with another toddler about a year younger than he. We thought it was going to be an expensive evening, but bowling with two toddlers is a very slow process and we ended up playing only 1 match in an hour and a half.

Since then he’s been fixated on bowling, so I brought the game home with a few toilet paper rolls and a size 1 soccer ball. Now he plays almost every night.

“New York magazine reports this week that THERE IS NOT ENOUGH DAY CARE space in those neighborhoods, forcing hapless parents to venture far afield for little Madison and Aiden’s day-care needs. And by far afield, we mean into one of those “other” Brooklyn communities where, like, real immigrants live and shit.” - Gawker
* thanks Blake

It’s that time of the month again when we celebrate the passage of another thirty-or-so days of conception-free sex. It’s usually a silent celebration, but with a toddler around everything needs an explanation – especially things that are difficult to explain.

On Friday evening my wife entered the house after a long day of work proclaiming her hatred for her womanly burden.

“Argh,” she said sounding slightly pirate-ish. “Chucky is coming, I feel horrible.” Chucky is what she calls her monthly bouts with menstruation pains, in our family we like to give names to the intangible and unhuman.

She entered the bathroom and asked me to check her usual holding spot for her stock of sanitary napkins. Sure enough she had run out.

She looked at me; I looked at her; and our son, in the bathtub, looked at us both.

“Argh,” I said mimicking her earlier lament. “I’m not going back out in that snow.”

She ran to the corner store, got the bandages for Chucky and returned looking none the better. Our son was in his bathrobe by then, but I was still in the bathroom clearing the tub of his numerous water toys (most of which were not designed for that purpose). He chased his mom in and as she removed the contents of the standard plastic shopping bag he demanded, as most any other toddler would, “What you got me?”

She looked at me; I looked at her; and our son, now out of the bathtub, looked at us both. How would we explain this one?

Then I had a spark. He’d fully understand what the contents of the colorful packing were if I related it to him.

“It’s mommy’s diapers,” I said to him with a smile.

“Mommy got diaper?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes,” I said. “Mommy wears diapers sometimes.”

He burst into laughter. “Mommy?” he said barely able to speak over his giggles. “Got a diaper?”

In that instance, as my son and I laughed like two tipsy frat boys and my wife regarded us with a pained expression, I realized that we were having a male moment.