“One of many reasons a pro-life rally isn’t a great place to pick up women.” - PS

… and also from PS: “A local decision that schoolboys must sit on toilet seats when urinating has provoked political debate.” (more)

Shit, I sit and pee all the time and there’s no political debate about that… Oops, did I say that out loud?

“Private tutors are a luxury many American families cannot afford, costing anywhere between $25 to $100 an hour. But California mother Denise Robison found one online for $2.50 an hour — in India.” -Y!News

“Is this baby a black belt?” - Y! Video

POP’S PICK [as rapped by Dr. Goose]:
Grandparents, grandparents without you
We’re not sure what life would mean

We would go to kids’ concerts and parties
And every kid thing in between

But thanks to you,
Tonight we will dream

And when we wake up, we’re going to see
The Youngblood Brass Band and Beans

FRIDAY
DaddyDowntime
The Science of Sleep (105 min., Rated: R)
Angelika Film Center
18 West Houston at Mercer Street
New York, NY 10012
(212) 777-FILM
Directed by Academy Award Winner Michael Gondry (“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”) and starring Gael Garcia Bernal (“The King”), The Science of Sleep is a surreal exploration of inner space set inside of one man’s dreams.
TODAY’S SHOWTIMES:
11:00 AM 12:00 PM 1:20 PM 2:20 PM 3:40 PM 4:40 PM 6:00 PM 7:00 PM 8:20 PM 9:20 PM 10:35 PM 11:40 PM

DaddyDowntime
Youngblood Brass Band (record release party)
Rob Swift, Beans, DJ Concerned
Northsix 66 North 6th Street, BK, NY 11211
$10 advance, $12 day of show
Doors: 8pm
Show: 9pm

FlavorPill
Cory Arcangel (beige):
subtractions, modifications, addenda, and other recent contributions to participatory culture
when: Fri 9.29 (6-8pm)
where: Team Gallery (83 Grand St, 212.279.9219)
Cory Arcangel, the art world’s renowned hacker of first-generation Nintendo and Atari games, marks Team Gallery’s inaugural show since uprooting from Chelsea to new SoHo digs.

SATURDAY
UrbanBaby
Chocolate Chip Chamber Music: Two of a Kind
Introduce kids to jazz music with a short concert that features prominent musicians, from Miles Davis and Thelonius Monk, as well as original compositions. Follow emcee and mascot Baker Bobbie on her quest for the perfect cookie - though each time she follows the same recipe, the result is never the same. With the musicians’ help, she discovers that adding different ingredients each time creates the best result - just like jazz.
When: Sat., 9/30, 10am & 11:30am; All ages; $5 (Tickets go on sale 30 minutes before each concert).
Where: Old First Reformed Church, 126 Seventh Ave. (at Carroll St.), Park Slope, Brooklyn, 718-638-8300.

FlavorPill
New York-Tokyo Music Festival
feat. Talib Kweli w/ DJ A-Trak, Hifana, Mighty Crown, and Pe’z
when: Sat 9.30 (2pm)
where: Central Park (Rumsey Field at 72nd St, 212.360.2777) map
price: FREE
Today’s New York-Tokyo Music Festival lineup showcases the dazzling talent that’s emerged from decades of Godzilla-like mutations of Western styles.

DailyCandy
Open Air Book Fair
What: Tens of thousands of books, CDs, and DVDs for $1, thrift clothes sold by the bag, and snacks from Savoy.
Why: You’re cheap. Now it’s out in the open.
When: Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: 126 Crosby St., b/t Houston & Prince Sts.

TONYKids
The cat’s meow
Kids can listen to a story about a stubborn kitty, then sculpt a clay cat of their very own.
When award-winning artist Cynthia von Buhler was living in her purple and green Victorian house in Boston, a stray cat appeared on her porch. It was freezing out, but the kitty refused to come inside. So instead, von Buhler built him his very own similarly colored, heated abode.
Sat 30 1–6pm. CVB Space, 407 West 13th St between Ninth Ave and Washington St (646-336-8387). Subway: A, C, E to 14th St; L to Eighth Ave. FREE

SUNDAY
UrbanBaby
Riddle Me This
Attempt to solve an age-old riddle with the artists who contributed to the new picture book, Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Tedd Arnold, Marla Frazee, Lynn Munsinger and Jerry Pinkney will answer the audience’s questions and talk about their own methods of answering the silly question.
When: Sun., 10/1, 1-3pm; All ages; Free.
Where: Books of Wonder, 18 West 18th St., 212-989-3270.

TONYKids
Rox and roll
This weekend release party celebrates AudraRox’ album
Few people are as strongly opinionated as preschoolers. They’re astoundingly energetic and are always on the lookout for something new to see, do, or play, while parents try to control the chaos. They also serve as the muses for AudraRox’ debut album, I Can Do It By Myself!
Sun 1 11:30am–1pm. Hiro Ballroom at the Maritime Hotel, 363 W 16th St at Ninth Ave (212-242-4300, audrarox.com). Subway: A, C, E to 14th St; L to 14th St–Union Sq. $15, children under 2 free.

UrbanBaby
DUMBO Block Party
Stop by this all day, family-oriented outdoor community event complete with a DJ, bouncy house, fire truck, face painting, BBQ and booths featuring products and services from local businesses and artists like Jim Avignon.
When: Sun., 10/1, noon-dusk; All ages; Free.
Where: Main Street between Plymouth and Water Streets.

“Befriend NYC’s shelter dogs by walking them around the neighborhood. They’ll get fresh air, exercise, and an “Adopt Me” vest that makes them irresistible to prospective pet parents.” - DailyCandy

“If you are old enough to know what Freezie Freakies are, if you recall seeing Michael Jackson in the yellow outfit pasted to the inside of the girl’s locker, or if you have at any point been angry at Richard Nixon, you are too old to be on MySpace.” - Greg Gilderman of metro.us

The quote is true… unless of course you are a Web-savvy pedophile.

Lupe Fiasco, Food and Liquor [review]

It’s a tough decision buying an album these days. The cover artwork is always eye catching (why make another ‘white album’ why you can show some t&a?), the asking price is always slashed (from $19.99 to just 10 bucks? Who can resist that?) and the short quips from prominent voices in the industry all add up to what I call the compact disc conundrum.

Take Lupe Fiasco’s new major label release for example. The promotional quotes stuck to the outside packaging are, naturally, complimentary: “Startlingly imaginative.” – Interview magazine. “Cool and eclectic.” – XXL magazine. “Hip-hop whiz kid.” – Fader magazine. Yet to the untrained ear, Lupe Fiasco might easily be mistaken to a couple of clever MCs that have come before him.

As such Lupe is forced to distance himself from last season’s startlingly imaginative, cool and eclectic hip-hop whiz kid by stating in the song Just Might Be Okay that he “ain’t Kanye West.” And on Kick Push there is no denying that he has pulled the deck right from under Pharell ‘Skateboard P’ Williams’ Ice Cream sneakers.

The tracks that make the biggest impression are the ones on which Lupe gets even more imaginative than his hipster-hop predecessors, presenting what can only be described as prankster-rap, as before you catch on to Lupe’s trick, you’ll be head-nodding and rump-shaking along to his witty lyrics and genre bending beats. The vocals on the album are audible but not overbearing, colloquial but not caustic.

He name-checks Thelonious Monk on I Gotcha, keeps up with Jay-Z on Pressure and doesn’t sound sappy when his raps are paired with a sweet as cotton candy R&B hook sung by Jill Scott on Day Dream – which borrows its melody from the Beta Band’s song Squares.

Another quirk that sets Lupe apart from the pack is that he represents a youthfulness to the too-fast-too-soon culture of hip-hop. The album’s songs are not about being ‘hood rich or engaging in shoot ‘em ups. The running theme centers on a stage in every hip-hoppers life rappers are afraid to embrace these days. Are you soft if you rap about teenage parenthood, or about tagging public property with Sharpie markers? Pussy if you kick a gentle rhyme to the around the way girl? If so, Lupe seems to not know it.

I was tempted to contribute my 13.5% of the albums sticker price to the Lupe Fiasco fund, but to his disadvantage the new Fergie album Fergie As In Dutchess was at the listening station next to Lupe’s. And I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t rather donate 13.5% to Fergie’s ‘upliftment’ project than to Lupe Fiasco’s Food And Liquor binge.

+ edited version also published on Dimished7

While watching the Sesame Street dvd Sing Yourself Sillier At The Movies with my son last nigth I discovered the new parent theme song ‘Oh, look what our baby can do.’ It’s a great song and even funnier clip, and as such instead of 5 fooeys Oscar the grouch gave it 5 hoorays.

“But before you dial the family shrink, log onto Cozi Central — a just launched, totally free web tool made for busier-than-busy parents. The software (which was written by ex-Microsoft whizzes) is a mini command central for the fam.” - DailyCandy

“3-D modeling shows that Mona Lisa may have been pregnant when she posed for Leonardo da Vinci.” - Y! News

That explains the glow.

“Atlantic Theater Company presents the New York premiere of Tina Howe’s comedy about overachieving parents trying to impress a childless anthropologist couple with their four-year-old’s birthday party. In previews. (336 W. 20th St. 212-239-6200)” - The New Yorker

I couldn’t find this listed on any of the Williamsburg art sites, but there is a cool-looking art show that will be opening at that little church on North 6th Street between Bedford and Driggs titled ‘Father and Son’. The promo image is of an update on the classic Mother and Child image - Mary is now a man (or maybe God, I’m not sure). In any case I’ll find out soon, the show’s opening reception is on Oct. 7th from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Here are two different images of kids living outside the U.S. They were taken on Monday and Tuesday of this week and display how different international concerns really are. I couldn’t find that third photo, the one of the fat American kid eating a jumbo bucket of trans-fat fried chicken.

“Teen frisked by fake cop saw run-in on YouTube: An Astoria man allegedly posed as an NYPD officer to unlawfully question a teenager about a bogus robbery and later aired the confrontation on a popular and free video-hosting Web site, prosecutors say.” - metroNY

We got a wonderful silver spoon set for our son from his great grandmother as a baby shower gift. It’s not the kind of thing we’d ever use because they’re not particularly practical (Sterling with little animal stems), but a gift from his great grandma is too precious to simply shelf – but that was exactly what we had to do.

Then my wife introduced me to the silver smith that sets up shop in front of the Virgin Megastore, Union Square on Sundays. He fashions fine jewelry from old one-off cutlery pieces. Spoons turn into rings, butter knives become bangles and he fashions forks into gemmed bracelets; all for twenty bucks or less (including silverware).

In an aha moment I decided that we’d our son’s little animal utensils to this guy so he can turn them into juvenile jewelry.

[Sundays 10 – 4 14th Street bet. 4th Avenue & Broadway]

“When the Cabbage Patch Kid craze hit, I was even more susceptible to advertising than I am now, my marijuana addiction notwithstanding. ” - Chief magazine

“exhibition of weird dolls in venice. i’ll be there. click image for more info.” - AndyAndy

“See which companies offer the best flexibility, leave, and child care for working moms.” - Y! News

I can’t say that there are many products out there that help parents raising mixed-race children; but I can attest to one.

My wife’s hair is wavy, my hair – when not totally shaved – is nappy, and as a result, our son has what folks with nappy hair call ‘good’ hair.

But don’t ask him about that, because he’ll tell you that there is absolutely nothing ‘good’ about waking up every morning with hair looking like Sideshow Bob, and then having a daddy with little hair experience rake a comb through it before you head off to pre-school.

He’ll probably also thank the high heavens that mommy discovered that no more tangles spray from the Johnsons Buddies line, because it turns a lung-busting, ear-splitting scream fest into a barely noticeable grooming session.

Then he’ll run to the mirror and say, “Look nice.”

So my kid can do really amazing things. But he can’t do this: “At the beginning, there was a blister at the side of her forehead. When we scratched it, a piece of glass came out,” Dhansara said explaining how her daughter started “emitting glass pieces.” - (PS)

“Marc Cherry came on set, and he was like, ‘No more pregnancies this year … They’re really hard to write in.” Told to Desperate Housewives star Longoria by show creator Marc Cherry in response to Maria Cross’ pregnancy.

A bit of advice to Marc: It ain’t gonna work dude. I told my wife the same thing, “No pregnancy. It’ll be too damn hard to write into our life.” Yet here I am, a proud poppa.

Today. “They may not be the three best super-hero movies ever made (”X2″, sucka), but they’re pretty damn close. Slap on your Underoos and head to the Ziegfeld for screenings of Spider-Man (1 p.m.), “Superman” (4:30 p.m.) and Batman (8:15 p.m.)” - metroNY

If there is anyone else that tried to go catch Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure on Friday evening in DUMBO, then you know how reliable metroNY info is.

Anyone with toddler experience will tell you that they innocently provide endless amounts of comedic entertainment simply going about their infant lives.

Take my son for example. He is at that very exploratory stage in his development and loves to vocally express his inquisitiveness. It seems as if, “What that?” is his new favorite term as he goes through his day making little mental notes of everything unfamiliar to him…

Honey? What are you doing in there?
I’m drafting a blog post

… My son’s nosiness does not preclude body parts. He has pointed to the breasts of acquaintances and asked, “What that?” He’ll hone in Austin Powers-style on the mole or scar on a stranger, point and then inquire loudly, “What that?” Prostheses? “What that?” Unibrows? “What that?” Bad toupes? “What the hell is that?” Okay so the last outburst was mine, but …

When are you going to be done? I want you to watch this with me. This woman brought this ugly tea set and it’s worth $19,000
Um, yeah. Just gimme a minute.

…But the other day was the funniest. My wife was about to shower…

Here you are. You’re missing some good stuff. An old guy had a $25,000 guitar and didn’t know it. And then this woman wasn’t happy that her jewelery was fake and only worth fifty bucks.
Yeah. But I’ll be finished in two seconds.
Can I see what you’re writing about this time?
Sure.

…

Honey don’t you dare.
Dare what?
Don’t blog about that.
What? I thought we agreed that nothing was off limits.
Are you shitting me? Do not write about that. If you do it will really piss me off.
But people like reading funny embarrassing stuff. Don’t you think what Devon did was funny?
Funny? Yes. Embarrassing? Yes too. Don’t write about it.
But…
Here’s something. Why don’t you blog about me telling you what not to blog about.
What?
Yeah Mr. Tell-the-whole-world-about-all-off-our-private-business. Blog about that.
Okay.

What’s funnier than a breakdancing baby? An Indian pop-locking, chain-smoking midget that looks like a baby.

(big-up to Jessica)

For the truly young art collectors: “8″W x 10″H :: Four color offset printed, perfect bound :: Packaged with a pair of ARKITIP x PAM x DC Brains Sock Puppets (Socks are wearable) :: Designed specifically for Issue0036 by PAM & ARKITIP :: Hand packaged & numbered ltd. edition of 1000 :: $30.00 Add to order.” - Arkitip

Plus: Funky fun skulls for cheap (10 bucks) in the ARKITIP x Stacks x Marc Jacobs Playing Card Set.

“Children’s shoes are lined up and labeled with the names and ages of children killed in the Iraq war outside the office of Sen. Hillary Clinton in Manhattan. The anti-war group CODEPINK Women For Peace staged the protest over Clinton’s continuing support for the war in Iraq and its effect on children.” - metroNY

Oh, it’s only news about Britney Spears. Keep ‘em rollin’.

POP’S PICK: DUMBO – Devon Under the Manhattan Brooklyn Overpass. We’ll have dinner at Rice then try to catch at least an hour of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (that is if he lasts an hour). Or will we go goof-off in the human version of Space Invaders at the Come Out & Play festival? Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

FRIDAY
TONYKids
In the club
TONY Kids blazes a (slug) trail with its inaugural book club pick
Alex’s best buddy, Slug, is a hyperactive, orange-skinned chatterbox with a sweet disposition and a generous heart. But even the closest of friends occasionally get on each others’ nerves, and Slug’s loquacious, ubiquitous presence in Alex’s life finally causes the boy to snap. Ages 4 to 8.—Carolyn Juris
Fri 22 at 5:30pm. Books of Wonder. Books of Wonder, 18 W18th St between Fifth and Sixth Aves (212-989-3475, booksofwonder.net). Subway: F to 14th St; N, Q, R, 4, 5, 6 to 14th St–Union Sq. FREE.

metroNY
Pee-Wee & Priscilla
Ask any culture critic what the two most important artistic achievements of the late 20th century were, and they will undoubtedly say “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” and “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.” Then they will fart on you. Check out these landmark films in a free double feature Friday in Brooklyn Bridge Park, DUMBO.
Pee-Wee starts at 7 p.m. and Priscilla starts at 9 p.m.

DialyCandy
Come Out & Play Festival
What: Nerd out with larger-than-life-size games of mini golf, space invaders, and sleuth.
Why: Sonic body pong, wherein you become a human paddle.
When: Fri.-Sun. Check schedule for game times.
Where: Various locations around town.

SATURDAY
UrbanBaby
Young King Arthur
The Vital Theater Children’s Company opens its season with a kid who gets to be a king. Little thespians can enter the world of Camelot where Arthur learns the hard way that power comes from the heart and not the sword.
When: Sat. & Sun., 9/23 & 9/24, 11am & 1pm ; Ages 4-12; $18.
Where: 2162 Broadway, 4th floor (at 76th and Broadway), 212-579-0528, vitaltheatre.org. Order tickets on theatermania.com.

TONYKids
“Please, sir, can I have some more?”
A beloved version of Oliver Twist gets screened in Greenwich Village
Mark the first official weekend of fall by taking in a morning movie with the kids. Musically adapted from Charles Dickens’ classic novel, Sir Carol Reed’s Oliver! is the story of runaway orphan Oliver Twist. After the film, head across the street to watch all-city basketball superstars battle it out at the West 4th street courts (they’ll be there rain or shine). Ages 7 and up.—Sophie Friedman
Sat 23, Sun 24 at 11am. IFC Center, 323 Sixth Ave at W 3rd St (212-349-0330, gkids.com). Travel: A, C, E, B, D, F, V to West 4th–Washington Square. $10.75, children $7.

UrbanBaby
Harvest Fair
Head to Prospect Park’s “Children’s Corner” for a DIY harvest fest at Lefferts Historic House, an 18-century Dutch Colonial farmhouse. As part of the “Fall in Love with Prospect Park” weekend celebration, guests can pick and cook potatoes, make apple cider, churn butter and watch how a spinner turns flax into linen thread.
When: Sat. & Sun., 9/23 & 9/24, 1-4pm; All ages; Free.
Where: Prospect Park, 718-965-8999; prospectpark.org.

SUNDAY
TONYKids
Write like the prose
Kids unleash their inner poet at the Bowery Poetry Club
It doesn’t matter whether your child has a penchant for Shakespeare or even just a mild interest in writing, Poetry is Power is for young poets of all levels. The workshop, held this weekend at the Bowery Poetry Club, lets kids try out their poetic prowess and then take to the mic to share their skills. Teaching poet Jennifer Noonan guides children through the creative process, helping them to get their imaginations running and pens flowing. Kids work together to create a group poem before working on some by themselves. If your child is too young to express himself in words, don’t worry—younger kids can communicate their thoughts through a drawing. Ages 6 to 12.—Colleen Hampton
Sun 24 noon–1pm. Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery at E 1st St (212-614-0505, bowerypoetry.com). Subway: 6 to Bleecker St. $8.

UrbanBaby
Pie Social
Call it a pie-palooza: Bubby’s, the famed Tribeca eatery, hosts more than 100 bakers of every kind of pie: traditional apple, ginger and pine nut, local Brooklyn pear, duck confit with roasted local figs and blackberries, Italian noodle, lobster and even a pie made of insects. Take your pick of pie and rock out to tunes from DJ Will. This year’s event will raise money for P.S. 29 in Brooklyn and P.S. 150 in Tribeca.
When: Sun., 9/24, Noon-4pm; All ages; $25 for 5 Tasting Tickets.
Where: Main St. & Plymouth, DUMBO, Brooklyn, bubbys.com.

ANYDAY
UrbanBaby
Zip Burger
Kids will love the “Build Your Burger” option at this new retro-looking East side haunt that prides itself on fresh, natural ingredients. Choose the type of meat (classic beef, turkey, veggie or salmon), bread (softy, whole wheat, English muffin — or opt out with a lettuce wrap), cheese, toppings and sauce. The “Little Zip” kids option includes a small burger, shake or soda and fries.
Where: 300 1/2 East 52nd St. (bet. 1st and 2nd Ave.), 212-308-1308, zipburger.com.